whole wheat bread and random thoughts

I used to hold the opinion that whole wheat bread was healthy, but as I have followed the Diet Solution Program I have learned different. I now use Ezekiel 4:9 bread, it is made from sprouted grains, lentils, and legumes. I also have traded in the whole wheat pasta for brown rice pasta, and made a really yummy salmon casserole with it the other day. I have replaced sugar with stevia and occasionally honey, agave syrup, and real maple syrup. I'm gradually cutting out processed cheese products and going for aged and natural cheeses. I am learning to cook dramatically different than I used to and I am amazed at how flavorful food can be without the extra junk. And loaded with fresh herbs, seasonings, vegetables and meats, this food really hits the spot, it is delicious and I don't feel the need to over indulge. In contrast, maccaroni & cheese, chocolate chip cookies, alfredo, garlic bread are just a few examples of foods that once I start I have a really hard time stopping (perhaps it's because nutritionally there isn't anything there and so the brain sends the signal, "nope, we need more, we aren't getting enough of what we need."

I went to the grocery store last night and just had to get a package of Manager's Special sugar cookies. I probably ate half the package (yeah, for sure, what the heck was I thinkin'". After the last cookie I felt really sick to my stomach (now why should it take getting sick to your stomach to stop stuffing your face???) HELLO!!!

This evening Hubby made supper, scrambled eggs, sliced ham, and french toast. He made me a piece of french toast and I thought, "well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a piece of whole wheat bread," and then I had a second. I felt really bloated afterwards and wished I'd gone to the trouble of making french toast with my sprouted grain bread. I really had taken for granted how much easier it is for my body to have the sprouted grains, and I am reminded to stay away from the other stuff.

Inspite of all of my cheat days and jumping off the wagon I am down to 165 lbs.

Time to detox

This past weekend we (I) ate a lot of american food, (hot dogs, hamburgers, pasta salad, packaged cookies, cake, cookies, pudding, etc.) I knew we were going to have a really busy weekend, and I could have made myself some meals to take along, but at the family reunion I remembered feeling a little awkward with my "weird" food. You sort of feel like you are a "holier than thou" in regards to food, "oh she probably thinks she's better than me because she's eating healthy food. I think that this is something I'm just going to have to get over; feeling sick the next few days after eating American food is not worth it.

On the brighter side: Today, following my newly discovered menu planner, I made a terrific salad for supper, and the prep time was quick ( just cutting up the ingredients and mixing a dressing) The meal was fresh spinach topped with sliced roast beef, wedge tomatoes, sliced red onion, crumbled goat cheese, and a creamy balsamic dressing. I also had some whole wheat penne for those of us that wanted it. The whole family really enjoyed it. I also made up fauxtato salad for tomorrow's supper (steamed cauliflower with fresh pesto sauce) I took a taste and it was really good. I will serve it with grilled pork chops.

I weighed in sometime Saturday, and I'm still at 170. I guess on the bright side at least I haven't gained, but it would be great to lose a few more. Patience, patience.

Thursday August 12, 2010

Family is in town and treated us out for breakfast. We went to Denny's and I decided to have a "cheat" day. I ordered the grand slam (2 eggs, 2 bacon, 2 sausage, and 2 pancakes) I wasn't able to finish everything, but I did eat all the pancakes. Afterwards I was glad I'd decided to eat with everybody else, because it helped me to see that eating that way is no longer desirable to me. I didn't feel "great" after my meal. I felt a bit of a "jittery" high and just didn't feel "right". I had a great supper later and had one smore that was ok, but there again....I'm glad I've found a new way to feed my body. A way that not only satsifies me, but energizes and sustains me. I am finding pleasure in things other than food. I was also sharing about what I was learning with my mom-in-law and how my motivation isn't merely for fitting into smaller clothes and looking good. My main priority is that I don't want to be plagued by all of the diseases and ailements that seem to creep up as we get older. I hope to be a healthy and active woman in my later years....and I believe that it starts here.....what am I going to do now to have a body that can do what I want to be able to do. If I don't take care of it, it won't be able to take care of me. I praise my Lord for the journey he has set my feet upon. May he be glorified in all that I do.

Sunday August 8, 2010

This morning before church hubby and I split a large cookie before finding our seats in the sanctuary. I admitted that it had been at least a month since I'd had sugar and that I could have easily gone back over to the table and gobbled down some more cookies, and donuts too. I explained that, it was the main reason that I chose not to eat sugar.

Later in the day I reflected on the incident and also on the message that I'd heard at church today. The message wasn't about parenting, but something about it paralleled parenting.

I really love it when the simple things in life bring meaning and understanding to those things that seem so far out of reach or unattainable.

Just as I train and disciple my children, Christ is doing the same for me. He loves me and sees the road ahead of me that I cannot see. He wants me to trust Him and obey Him, even when things don't make sense to me (that's what trust is).

So, what does this have to do with my weight loss....a lot. I'm not seeing results, I'm stuck at 170#s. So do I throw the whole thing out and go back to my old ways (Egypt is calling to me). I believe that my heavenly father has something to say. He wants my attention. Perhaps He wants me to stop worrying about the scales and to trust Him and to continue following the path that I am on toward health and weight-loss. I am reminded that this journey that I am on is not just about health and weight-loss, it goes much deeper to my relationship with Him (as everything in life does) will I entrust these issues to my savior and follow Him or will I go my own way.

Also, will I obey whole-hearted or reluctantly. Will I try to test the boundaries and see how much I can "cheat" without getting burned, or will I strive towards excellence toward the prize. It comes down to issues of the heart, where is my heart. Is my heart and soul longing after intimacy with my savior or after the next high of a sugar glazed donut.

In the throes of desperation

I definitely feel like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I am stuck at 170#s. I don't like my clothes, they are uncomfortable and they make me "look" fat. The kids are pestering me, and the toddler keeps getting up from his nap and the baby is fussy.

I am thankful that at least my weight is not going back up, but I would like to see it drop some more, you know, letting me know that I'm getting somewhere. I thought that maybe I'd just not look at the scales for at least a week, but to be honest, I'm afraid that if I do that I'll come back a week later and be another 5-10#s heavier.

I've done my strength training once this week and I can feel it working.

I liken my issue to that of the Israelites after they left Egypt. I'm sure that when they first left they felt victorious and strong and free, but then that journey started taking its toll on them. How long was it going to take anyway. I wonder who would have signed up for the journey had they known it was going to take 40 years and even then some of them weren't going to even see the promised land.

So, here I am, out in my desert, depriving myself of the "feel good" foods.