So, my last post was about a month ago and I was at 160 lbs. and that's where I am today. I guess I could say that I've reached the maintenance level, but I'm far from where I'd like to be. I've got a box of "skinny" clothes waiting for me in the closet and a half opened box of "on the way to skinny clothes". I'm at that awkward stage where my size 14 jeans are really starting to hang off my hips, but the 13's are just a little too tight for my liking (I do like to breathe). I feel most comfy in my stretchy athletic pants, they fit me just right.
I'm continuing to have my ups and downs. My exercise routine is consistent right now and I've managed not to get sick for a month (YIPPEE). I enjoy eating healthy food and then I enjoy eating junk too.
I'd really like to crank things up a notch and get down to 150, so maybe this week I'll take a serious look at my caloric intake and make sure I'm getting in my 5 mini meals and push a little harder during my exercise, you know, turn it up a notch.
Nothing to exciting, just some goals and somewhere in here the determination to reach them.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Uneventful isn't such a bad thing
Soccer season is over and Saturday I woke up feeling a little "under the weather". It was drizzly outside and there was a definite chill in the air, the kind that sinks into your skin and settles in your bones. I was a little on edge and snappy and just wanted to go to bed. We got back home from the soccer field after noon and I had to run to the grocery, with all the kids. After coming back home I ordered everyone to put them away and put myself in bed. Sunday morning I stayed home with a sick child and made a pot roast and cleaned the kitchen. Later, I made ginger pork chops and again tidied the kitchen, with some help. I am going to go to bed soon, my kitchen is somewhat in order, and that just means that dirty dishes aren't stacked all over the counters and in the sink. I get so tired of waking up and looking at my kitchen in such a state. Perhaps, I'm waiting for the morning that I wake up and little fairies have come in the middle of the night and cleaned my kitchen for me.
I've put some oatmeal in the crockpot with some water, apples, and cinnamon, so I will let you know how that turns out. Hopefully it will help me get the day going a little better.
This weekend has been rather uneventful, and I am thankful for that, I needed the rest. My weight is up two pounds, oops, must of been the pizza on Friday and Saturday. Hey, did I tell you this is a diary of a woman who is struggling to overcome her obsession of food. Are you really surprised that I gave in and had pizza.
It is so hard to make food, to mess up your kitchen, to gather your supplies, thank goodness I don't have to worry about the menu, gees that would be another thing. In a matter of minutes I can destroy my kitchen and it might take me a half hour or longer to clean it up, and by the time I've finished cleaning up, it's time to make another meal. Not to mention someone's always coming into the kitchen asking for a snack or complaining about supper, "ewww....I don't like that".
I am to put it plainly, disgruntled. The glass is empty, I'd be good company for Eeyore or Oscar the grouch. Goodnight
I've put some oatmeal in the crockpot with some water, apples, and cinnamon, so I will let you know how that turns out. Hopefully it will help me get the day going a little better.
This weekend has been rather uneventful, and I am thankful for that, I needed the rest. My weight is up two pounds, oops, must of been the pizza on Friday and Saturday. Hey, did I tell you this is a diary of a woman who is struggling to overcome her obsession of food. Are you really surprised that I gave in and had pizza.
It is so hard to make food, to mess up your kitchen, to gather your supplies, thank goodness I don't have to worry about the menu, gees that would be another thing. In a matter of minutes I can destroy my kitchen and it might take me a half hour or longer to clean it up, and by the time I've finished cleaning up, it's time to make another meal. Not to mention someone's always coming into the kitchen asking for a snack or complaining about supper, "ewww....I don't like that".
I am to put it plainly, disgruntled. The glass is empty, I'd be good company for Eeyore or Oscar the grouch. Goodnight
Sunday, September 26, 2010
progress
10 to fifteen years ago 160 lbs. would not have been a weight I would have been excited about, but right now it's not to bad, and it's a whole lot better than 190 lbs.
So that's what I was this morning when I weighed-in. It's been at least a week since my last weight check. This week has been better. I really learned from my mistakes from last week-end. Friday night I made up a breakfast casserole for Saturday morning before soccer games. We didn't have any plans to go anywhere, we just did some fall cleaning and organizing. I got in an afternoon jog today and it was a great day to be outside; temperature was perfect, the sun was shining, a light breeze, what more could I ask for. I'm good and tired, I think I'll turn in early.
So that's what I was this morning when I weighed-in. It's been at least a week since my last weight check. This week has been better. I really learned from my mistakes from last week-end. Friday night I made up a breakfast casserole for Saturday morning before soccer games. We didn't have any plans to go anywhere, we just did some fall cleaning and organizing. I got in an afternoon jog today and it was a great day to be outside; temperature was perfect, the sun was shining, a light breeze, what more could I ask for. I'm good and tired, I think I'll turn in early.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
the results of a poorly planned weekend
The weekend came before I knew it and I had a couple of things on my planner that I wanted to do as a family. We had soccer games both Friday night and Saturday morning. My favorite store was having their 50% off sale (it only happens 4 times a year). The parks and recreation were offering a free weekend to try out outdoor sports and the Irish festival was going on all weekend.
Just curious, does this sound like to much? Would you have attempted to do all of the above, or would you have picked your 2 favorites?
Well, since I am Ms. Incredible I decided we were gonna do it all, and we did, but not without a lot of regret.
Our first mistake was not packing a lunch and water bottles for the outdoor experience, and that leads me to our next mistake, not having cash on us to purchase food and water at the outdoor experience. The third mistake was that we parked at the park entrance and walked to the main event (that left little energy to do fun stuff, and we still had to hike back to our vehicle a mile +) We did get to try out a few of the sports, but had to cut our adventures short so that we could leave the park and get food, which brings me to the fourth mistake and the reason why I'm putting this whole entry on my food journal. What do most people eat when they are in a hurry, don't want to spend a lot of money, and have limited options? the answer is probably most often fast food, so that's what we had.
After wolfing down a burger and some chicken nuggets we headed to the Goodwill and spent a couple of hours rummaging through clothes for the whole family. We were leaving as they were closing the store, and that leads me to mistake number 5: Without anything quick to make at home we stopped and picked up a couple of frozen pizzas (yeah, real quick. We had to pre-heat the oven and then wait another 10 minutes, and then another 10 minutes because the kids ate the first pizza.
I don't remember what time I went to bed, but the next morning started to early, and with more unhealthy food choices; coffee cake and cinnamon bread. We were going to go to the early service at church, but didn't make it and then found out that in order to get into the festival for free we needed to be there by 11:30 with a food donation. (That would have have been mistake #6).
We made it to the festival with little time to spare and tried to make the best of our $60. Does $60 seem like a lot to you, it does to me, especially when all we bought was 3 kids meals (hot dog, chips), tenderloin sandwich, salad w/chicken & cranberries, roast beef sandwich, 1 beer, 3 corn beef sandwiches, popcorn, 3 soda pops, and 1 lemonade.
On the way home, it was late again so we opted to stop and grab something for supper, we were a little smarter and got Subway and only got the $5 foot longs.
Upon arriving home I nursed the baby and then put on my running gear, I was not going to let the week-end be a total waste. Hubby fed the kids and I headed out to the trail.
My jog redeemed my pitiful week-end. I was energized and I jogged the entire stretch (roughly 3 miles) it got dark while I was out there, but the weather was nice and cool and the exercise helped me to sort out my frustrations and disappointments.
Hind sight, Hubby and I would have gotten a sitter for the kids and gone. We would have spent the same amount on a sitter, and the kids were constantly reminding us how bored they were and asking us to "buy them this, and buy them that", and then we could have had some much needed couple time. I also would have liked to have packed some of our food, so that I had the option to eat healthy, and that would have saved us money as well. In addition, if I'd had our evening meals in the fridge ready to eat when we got home.
Next week-end I'm going to work at being better prepared, so that I'm not so regretful.
Just curious, does this sound like to much? Would you have attempted to do all of the above, or would you have picked your 2 favorites?
Well, since I am Ms. Incredible I decided we were gonna do it all, and we did, but not without a lot of regret.
Our first mistake was not packing a lunch and water bottles for the outdoor experience, and that leads me to our next mistake, not having cash on us to purchase food and water at the outdoor experience. The third mistake was that we parked at the park entrance and walked to the main event (that left little energy to do fun stuff, and we still had to hike back to our vehicle a mile +) We did get to try out a few of the sports, but had to cut our adventures short so that we could leave the park and get food, which brings me to the fourth mistake and the reason why I'm putting this whole entry on my food journal. What do most people eat when they are in a hurry, don't want to spend a lot of money, and have limited options? the answer is probably most often fast food, so that's what we had.
After wolfing down a burger and some chicken nuggets we headed to the Goodwill and spent a couple of hours rummaging through clothes for the whole family. We were leaving as they were closing the store, and that leads me to mistake number 5: Without anything quick to make at home we stopped and picked up a couple of frozen pizzas (yeah, real quick. We had to pre-heat the oven and then wait another 10 minutes, and then another 10 minutes because the kids ate the first pizza.
I don't remember what time I went to bed, but the next morning started to early, and with more unhealthy food choices; coffee cake and cinnamon bread. We were going to go to the early service at church, but didn't make it and then found out that in order to get into the festival for free we needed to be there by 11:30 with a food donation. (That would have have been mistake #6).
We made it to the festival with little time to spare and tried to make the best of our $60. Does $60 seem like a lot to you, it does to me, especially when all we bought was 3 kids meals (hot dog, chips), tenderloin sandwich, salad w/chicken & cranberries, roast beef sandwich, 1 beer, 3 corn beef sandwiches, popcorn, 3 soda pops, and 1 lemonade.
On the way home, it was late again so we opted to stop and grab something for supper, we were a little smarter and got Subway and only got the $5 foot longs.
Upon arriving home I nursed the baby and then put on my running gear, I was not going to let the week-end be a total waste. Hubby fed the kids and I headed out to the trail.
My jog redeemed my pitiful week-end. I was energized and I jogged the entire stretch (roughly 3 miles) it got dark while I was out there, but the weather was nice and cool and the exercise helped me to sort out my frustrations and disappointments.
Hind sight, Hubby and I would have gotten a sitter for the kids and gone. We would have spent the same amount on a sitter, and the kids were constantly reminding us how bored they were and asking us to "buy them this, and buy them that", and then we could have had some much needed couple time. I also would have liked to have packed some of our food, so that I had the option to eat healthy, and that would have saved us money as well. In addition, if I'd had our evening meals in the fridge ready to eat when we got home.
Next week-end I'm going to work at being better prepared, so that I'm not so regretful.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
self-medicating
So, after my workout on Monday I felt fine, but sometime Tuesday afternoon I started developing a headache, and if you know me, I get a lot of headaches and they consume me. I took some hydrocodone and hubby helped with the kids so I could try to relax and fall asleep. I woke up this morning, and was so rudely greeted by my headache. "This is not the way to start a day."
When you feel crummy, eating healthy isn't usually on the forefront of your mind, getting rid of your ailment and feeling better in the meantime are most important.
A breakdown of what I ate today, 3 grands biscuits with butter and syrup and milk, a smoothie, 6 Oreo cookies ( I would have eaten more, but there were only 3). 2 sugar cookies from the deli, and frozen pizza (I don't know how many slices, probably to many).
So, what does this mean: It means we all have bad days. I can sum this up as a bad day and start anew tomorrow. This is a lifestyle change for me, and I need to work on a solution to making my "sick days" healthy too. It has been a learning experience for me, letting me know that when things get "rough" I have trouble pulling through and revert back to old tendencies.
I plan on coming up with a back-up plan and a stash of healthy quick foods for those times that I am sick or don't have time to make a healthy meal.
I also think with the help of my massage therapist I have pin-pointed the culprit of my headache. Before strength training my upper body I am not warming up the muscles and so then as I work the muscles they aren't ready and I end up hurting them. The shoulder and neck muscles end up tightening and then cause my headache. So the next time I do my strength training I'm going to warm up the upper body.
When you feel crummy, eating healthy isn't usually on the forefront of your mind, getting rid of your ailment and feeling better in the meantime are most important.
A breakdown of what I ate today, 3 grands biscuits with butter and syrup and milk, a smoothie, 6 Oreo cookies ( I would have eaten more, but there were only 3). 2 sugar cookies from the deli, and frozen pizza (I don't know how many slices, probably to many).
So, what does this mean: It means we all have bad days. I can sum this up as a bad day and start anew tomorrow. This is a lifestyle change for me, and I need to work on a solution to making my "sick days" healthy too. It has been a learning experience for me, letting me know that when things get "rough" I have trouble pulling through and revert back to old tendencies.
I plan on coming up with a back-up plan and a stash of healthy quick foods for those times that I am sick or don't have time to make a healthy meal.
I also think with the help of my massage therapist I have pin-pointed the culprit of my headache. Before strength training my upper body I am not warming up the muscles and so then as I work the muscles they aren't ready and I end up hurting them. The shoulder and neck muscles end up tightening and then cause my headache. So the next time I do my strength training I'm going to warm up the upper body.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Oreos or Oatmeal
Laying in bed watching Diary of a Foodie and wanting to drift off to sleep, but my stomach is roaring at me, "feed me". I head to the kitchen but I'm to tired to make anything, so I go back to bed. My stomach keeps nagging at me. I reflect on what I've eaten today: Egg salad on toast for breakfast and milk, almond butter sandwich for lunch, protein smoothie after my workout, grilled chicken and vegetables for supper. Not the greatest assortment, but I'm still needing to get to the store and I'm completely out of salad mix and fruit. I probably haven't eaten enough today, so this hunger is real.
Back to the kitchen, and I find some leftover oatmeal, so I mix in some walnuts, frozen blackberries (the very last ones, like 5), raw milk, agave syrup. As I was heating it up on the stove I noticed Oreo cookies on the top shelf of the pantry, "nah, they won't hit the spot...they'll just make me crave sugar."
Now that's progress. I could easily eat half a package of Oreo cookies, I know, I've done it before. I just finished my oatmeal, and I feel satisfied and I won't live to regret it. Now, let's go finish watching foodie and go to sleep.
Back to the kitchen, and I find some leftover oatmeal, so I mix in some walnuts, frozen blackberries (the very last ones, like 5), raw milk, agave syrup. As I was heating it up on the stove I noticed Oreo cookies on the top shelf of the pantry, "nah, they won't hit the spot...they'll just make me crave sugar."
Now that's progress. I could easily eat half a package of Oreo cookies, I know, I've done it before. I just finished my oatmeal, and I feel satisfied and I won't live to regret it. Now, let's go finish watching foodie and go to sleep.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
September 12th
Just returned from an afternoon jog and I'm enjoying a peach smoothie. The weather is great, nice breeze, low humidity, bright blue sky with a few puffy clouds. The sun is shining and it felt great to be out on the trail. It's been a while so I didn't jog the whole three miles, but no need to beat myself up over it. I enjoyed my stretch afterwards, it's become a very important part of exercise for me. During my teens and twenties I didn't see the importance of stretching after a workout, I wanted to get on with the next thing, but in the last couple of years stretching feels great after tearing up the muscles. I'm looking forward to my "Get Ripped" workout by Jari Love sometime tomorrow.
Yesterday I was pretty busy doing some organizing around the house and didn't eat as well. I'm needing to go to the grocery and I'm out of salad mix. It makes it hard to follow any program if you don't have "allowable" foods available. I didn't eat anything I wasn't supposed to, I just didn't eat, and that's not conducive to keeping a healthy metabolism.
In the evenings before bed I've been watching Diary of a foodie, season 1. I found it at the library and it's been fun to watch. Chefs growing their own food, coming up with exotic dishes and unique ways to prepare meals, and also talking about "slow food"
Better go for now, my daughter is asking for mother-daughter time.
Yesterday I was pretty busy doing some organizing around the house and didn't eat as well. I'm needing to go to the grocery and I'm out of salad mix. It makes it hard to follow any program if you don't have "allowable" foods available. I didn't eat anything I wasn't supposed to, I just didn't eat, and that's not conducive to keeping a healthy metabolism.
In the evenings before bed I've been watching Diary of a foodie, season 1. I found it at the library and it's been fun to watch. Chefs growing their own food, coming up with exotic dishes and unique ways to prepare meals, and also talking about "slow food"
Better go for now, my daughter is asking for mother-daughter time.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Egypt isn't looking so good anymore
I am finally beginning to see some real changes here. I am beginning to think before I cram stuff into my mouth. If it is not an "allowable" food I remind myself of how I feel after eating it. The taste just isn't worth it anymore. Whenever I eat wheat products I tend to get bloated, something I didn't notice until I wasn't eating it anymore and then had some.
The good for life menus are really helping to keep things interesting and stress free; each week has new and exciting meals and a grocery list. I don't have to sit down and figure out what we are going to eat, and make a list. It also makes wandering around the grocery store unnecessary.
This weekend we had some really great meals, and even dessert. The dessert was a fruit pizza, no wheat and no sugar and we all loved it. It was so wonderful to eat the dessert and know that I wasn't cheating or falling off the wagon.
The way I used to eat is no longer desirable to me. The cravings, the never satisfied feeling, the guity feeling. The bloated, stuffed stomach feeling.
The good for life menus are really helping to keep things interesting and stress free; each week has new and exciting meals and a grocery list. I don't have to sit down and figure out what we are going to eat, and make a list. It also makes wandering around the grocery store unnecessary.
This weekend we had some really great meals, and even dessert. The dessert was a fruit pizza, no wheat and no sugar and we all loved it. It was so wonderful to eat the dessert and know that I wasn't cheating or falling off the wagon.
The way I used to eat is no longer desirable to me. The cravings, the never satisfied feeling, the guity feeling. The bloated, stuffed stomach feeling.
Friday, August 27, 2010
whole wheat bread and random thoughts
I used to hold the opinion that whole wheat bread was healthy, but as I have followed the Diet Solution Program I have learned different. I now use Ezekiel 4:9 bread, it is made from sprouted grains, lentils, and legumes. I also have traded in the whole wheat pasta for brown rice pasta, and made a really yummy salmon casserole with it the other day. I have replaced sugar with stevia and occasionally honey, agave syrup, and real maple syrup. I'm gradually cutting out processed cheese products and going for aged and natural cheeses. I am learning to cook dramatically different than I used to and I am amazed at how flavorful food can be without the extra junk. And loaded with fresh herbs, seasonings, vegetables and meats, this food really hits the spot, it is delicious and I don't feel the need to over indulge. In contrast, maccaroni & cheese, chocolate chip cookies, alfredo, garlic bread are just a few examples of foods that once I start I have a really hard time stopping (perhaps it's because nutritionally there isn't anything there and so the brain sends the signal, "nope, we need more, we aren't getting enough of what we need."
I went to the grocery store last night and just had to get a package of Manager's Special sugar cookies. I probably ate half the package (yeah, for sure, what the heck was I thinkin'". After the last cookie I felt really sick to my stomach (now why should it take getting sick to your stomach to stop stuffing your face???) HELLO!!!
This evening Hubby made supper, scrambled eggs, sliced ham, and french toast. He made me a piece of french toast and I thought, "well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a piece of whole wheat bread," and then I had a second. I felt really bloated afterwards and wished I'd gone to the trouble of making french toast with my sprouted grain bread. I really had taken for granted how much easier it is for my body to have the sprouted grains, and I am reminded to stay away from the other stuff.
Inspite of all of my cheat days and jumping off the wagon I am down to 165 lbs.
I went to the grocery store last night and just had to get a package of Manager's Special sugar cookies. I probably ate half the package (yeah, for sure, what the heck was I thinkin'". After the last cookie I felt really sick to my stomach (now why should it take getting sick to your stomach to stop stuffing your face???) HELLO!!!
This evening Hubby made supper, scrambled eggs, sliced ham, and french toast. He made me a piece of french toast and I thought, "well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a piece of whole wheat bread," and then I had a second. I felt really bloated afterwards and wished I'd gone to the trouble of making french toast with my sprouted grain bread. I really had taken for granted how much easier it is for my body to have the sprouted grains, and I am reminded to stay away from the other stuff.
Inspite of all of my cheat days and jumping off the wagon I am down to 165 lbs.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Time to detox
This past weekend we (I) ate a lot of american food, (hot dogs, hamburgers, pasta salad, packaged cookies, cake, cookies, pudding, etc.) I knew we were going to have a really busy weekend, and I could have made myself some meals to take along, but at the family reunion I remembered feeling a little awkward with my "weird" food. You sort of feel like you are a "holier than thou" in regards to food, "oh she probably thinks she's better than me because she's eating healthy food. I think that this is something I'm just going to have to get over; feeling sick the next few days after eating American food is not worth it.
On the brighter side: Today, following my newly discovered menu planner, I made a terrific salad for supper, and the prep time was quick ( just cutting up the ingredients and mixing a dressing) The meal was fresh spinach topped with sliced roast beef, wedge tomatoes, sliced red onion, crumbled goat cheese, and a creamy balsamic dressing. I also had some whole wheat penne for those of us that wanted it. The whole family really enjoyed it. I also made up fauxtato salad for tomorrow's supper (steamed cauliflower with fresh pesto sauce) I took a taste and it was really good. I will serve it with grilled pork chops.
I weighed in sometime Saturday, and I'm still at 170. I guess on the bright side at least I haven't gained, but it would be great to lose a few more. Patience, patience.
On the brighter side: Today, following my newly discovered menu planner, I made a terrific salad for supper, and the prep time was quick ( just cutting up the ingredients and mixing a dressing) The meal was fresh spinach topped with sliced roast beef, wedge tomatoes, sliced red onion, crumbled goat cheese, and a creamy balsamic dressing. I also had some whole wheat penne for those of us that wanted it. The whole family really enjoyed it. I also made up fauxtato salad for tomorrow's supper (steamed cauliflower with fresh pesto sauce) I took a taste and it was really good. I will serve it with grilled pork chops.
I weighed in sometime Saturday, and I'm still at 170. I guess on the bright side at least I haven't gained, but it would be great to lose a few more. Patience, patience.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Thursday August 12, 2010
Family is in town and treated us out for breakfast. We went to Denny's and I decided to have a "cheat" day. I ordered the grand slam (2 eggs, 2 bacon, 2 sausage, and 2 pancakes) I wasn't able to finish everything, but I did eat all the pancakes. Afterwards I was glad I'd decided to eat with everybody else, because it helped me to see that eating that way is no longer desirable to me. I didn't feel "great" after my meal. I felt a bit of a "jittery" high and just didn't feel "right". I had a great supper later and had one smore that was ok, but there again....I'm glad I've found a new way to feed my body. A way that not only satsifies me, but energizes and sustains me. I am finding pleasure in things other than food. I was also sharing about what I was learning with my mom-in-law and how my motivation isn't merely for fitting into smaller clothes and looking good. My main priority is that I don't want to be plagued by all of the diseases and ailements that seem to creep up as we get older. I hope to be a healthy and active woman in my later years....and I believe that it starts here.....what am I going to do now to have a body that can do what I want to be able to do. If I don't take care of it, it won't be able to take care of me. I praise my Lord for the journey he has set my feet upon. May he be glorified in all that I do.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Sunday August 8, 2010
This morning before church hubby and I split a large cookie before finding our seats in the sanctuary. I admitted that it had been at least a month since I'd had sugar and that I could have easily gone back over to the table and gobbled down some more cookies, and donuts too. I explained that, it was the main reason that I chose not to eat sugar.
Later in the day I reflected on the incident and also on the message that I'd heard at church today. The message wasn't about parenting, but something about it paralleled parenting.
I really love it when the simple things in life bring meaning and understanding to those things that seem so far out of reach or unattainable.
Just as I train and disciple my children, Christ is doing the same for me. He loves me and sees the road ahead of me that I cannot see. He wants me to trust Him and obey Him, even when things don't make sense to me (that's what trust is).
So, what does this have to do with my weight loss....a lot. I'm not seeing results, I'm stuck at 170#s. So do I throw the whole thing out and go back to my old ways (Egypt is calling to me). I believe that my heavenly father has something to say. He wants my attention. Perhaps He wants me to stop worrying about the scales and to trust Him and to continue following the path that I am on toward health and weight-loss. I am reminded that this journey that I am on is not just about health and weight-loss, it goes much deeper to my relationship with Him (as everything in life does) will I entrust these issues to my savior and follow Him or will I go my own way.
Also, will I obey whole-hearted or reluctantly. Will I try to test the boundaries and see how much I can "cheat" without getting burned, or will I strive towards excellence toward the prize. It comes down to issues of the heart, where is my heart. Is my heart and soul longing after intimacy with my savior or after the next high of a sugar glazed donut.
Later in the day I reflected on the incident and also on the message that I'd heard at church today. The message wasn't about parenting, but something about it paralleled parenting.
I really love it when the simple things in life bring meaning and understanding to those things that seem so far out of reach or unattainable.
Just as I train and disciple my children, Christ is doing the same for me. He loves me and sees the road ahead of me that I cannot see. He wants me to trust Him and obey Him, even when things don't make sense to me (that's what trust is).
So, what does this have to do with my weight loss....a lot. I'm not seeing results, I'm stuck at 170#s. So do I throw the whole thing out and go back to my old ways (Egypt is calling to me). I believe that my heavenly father has something to say. He wants my attention. Perhaps He wants me to stop worrying about the scales and to trust Him and to continue following the path that I am on toward health and weight-loss. I am reminded that this journey that I am on is not just about health and weight-loss, it goes much deeper to my relationship with Him (as everything in life does) will I entrust these issues to my savior and follow Him or will I go my own way.
Also, will I obey whole-hearted or reluctantly. Will I try to test the boundaries and see how much I can "cheat" without getting burned, or will I strive towards excellence toward the prize. It comes down to issues of the heart, where is my heart. Is my heart and soul longing after intimacy with my savior or after the next high of a sugar glazed donut.
Friday, August 6, 2010
In the throes of desperation
I definitely feel like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I am stuck at 170#s. I don't like my clothes, they are uncomfortable and they make me "look" fat. The kids are pestering me, and the toddler keeps getting up from his nap and the baby is fussy.
I am thankful that at least my weight is not going back up, but I would like to see it drop some more, you know, letting me know that I'm getting somewhere. I thought that maybe I'd just not look at the scales for at least a week, but to be honest, I'm afraid that if I do that I'll come back a week later and be another 5-10#s heavier.
I've done my strength training once this week and I can feel it working.
I liken my issue to that of the Israelites after they left Egypt. I'm sure that when they first left they felt victorious and strong and free, but then that journey started taking its toll on them. How long was it going to take anyway. I wonder who would have signed up for the journey had they known it was going to take 40 years and even then some of them weren't going to even see the promised land.
So, here I am, out in my desert, depriving myself of the "feel good" foods.
I am thankful that at least my weight is not going back up, but I would like to see it drop some more, you know, letting me know that I'm getting somewhere. I thought that maybe I'd just not look at the scales for at least a week, but to be honest, I'm afraid that if I do that I'll come back a week later and be another 5-10#s heavier.
I've done my strength training once this week and I can feel it working.
I liken my issue to that of the Israelites after they left Egypt. I'm sure that when they first left they felt victorious and strong and free, but then that journey started taking its toll on them. How long was it going to take anyway. I wonder who would have signed up for the journey had they known it was going to take 40 years and even then some of them weren't going to even see the promised land.
So, here I am, out in my desert, depriving myself of the "feel good" foods.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
July 27th
Today was a great day. Having determined through the metabolic type test that I am a protein type, most of my calories come from protein. I've been getting a little "bored" of all the protein and have added more vegetables to my meals. Hunger has changed a bit for me. I used to be "hungry" all of the time, now it comes on unexpectedly and I find that if I eat "allowable" foods soon I am fine, but if I can't then I get really hungry and begin craving sugar and other foods that aren't healthy for me. When trying to lose weight and maintain a healthy I think its really important to be able to know your body and how it operates. Knowing the things that trip you up and set you back is extremely helpful so that you can create ways to make it through the tough times. A couple of helpful things for me have been:
Making up snacks for when I'm on the go (not only does this take away the hunger, but I'm not stopping at a fastfood joint and plunking down a couple of dollars for food that I shouldn't be eating)
Making up meals ahead of time: On the weekend I make a couple of whole chickens and then pull the meat off and put it in the fridge, it's great to have it available for my meals the following week. I then use the chicken bones to make broth and use for soups, beans, etc.)
Starting to make and eat my meal before I am really hungry. When I get really hungry, all sense seems to fly out the window and I behave like a coocoo. (It's kind of along the same idea that you shouldn't go grocery shopping on an empty stomach)
Also, as I consult the scales I see my weight fluctuate throughout the day anywhere from 2-3 lbs. I think this is completely normal. Over time the 2-3 lbs. it fluctuates changes a bit as I continue to lose weight. (for example: When I started at 180 lbs I fluctuated between 180 and 177, and then down to 177 and 175 and now 172-170.
So here's what I ate today:
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs, 1 slice of bacon, 1/2 cup of steamed broccli, 1/2 slice of SWG bread
Snack 1: 1 oz. walnuts, 1/2 peach, 6 carrot sticks
lunch: large salad (spring mix, my favorite), 2 slices of bacon, 1 oz. walnuts, dried cranberries, sliced red onion, Mike Geary's salad dressing
snack: 1/2 banana, hard-boiled egg, 2 tbsp. almond butter, celery sticks
supper: curried tilapia over brown rice and mango salsa, small salad with dressing
snack: 3 SWG pancakes w/ real maple syrup
Making up snacks for when I'm on the go (not only does this take away the hunger, but I'm not stopping at a fastfood joint and plunking down a couple of dollars for food that I shouldn't be eating)
Making up meals ahead of time: On the weekend I make a couple of whole chickens and then pull the meat off and put it in the fridge, it's great to have it available for my meals the following week. I then use the chicken bones to make broth and use for soups, beans, etc.)
Starting to make and eat my meal before I am really hungry. When I get really hungry, all sense seems to fly out the window and I behave like a coocoo. (It's kind of along the same idea that you shouldn't go grocery shopping on an empty stomach)
Also, as I consult the scales I see my weight fluctuate throughout the day anywhere from 2-3 lbs. I think this is completely normal. Over time the 2-3 lbs. it fluctuates changes a bit as I continue to lose weight. (for example: When I started at 180 lbs I fluctuated between 180 and 177, and then down to 177 and 175 and now 172-170.
So here's what I ate today:
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs, 1 slice of bacon, 1/2 cup of steamed broccli, 1/2 slice of SWG bread
Snack 1: 1 oz. walnuts, 1/2 peach, 6 carrot sticks
lunch: large salad (spring mix, my favorite), 2 slices of bacon, 1 oz. walnuts, dried cranberries, sliced red onion, Mike Geary's salad dressing
snack: 1/2 banana, hard-boiled egg, 2 tbsp. almond butter, celery sticks
supper: curried tilapia over brown rice and mango salsa, small salad with dressing
snack: 3 SWG pancakes w/ real maple syrup
Friday, July 23, 2010
July 23, 2010
Doing well, was busy today and didn't get all my meals and snacks in. Not having cravings, and finding that I feel great after eating, following the Diet Solution Program. Today was my "cheat" day and I had pizza with my family.
Today's menu:
Breakfast: 2 slices SWG bread, 2 eggs (made french toast), 1 slice turkey bacon, real maple syrup
Snack: hard-boiled egg, 1 slice bacon, 1 cup of carrots, 1 oz. of cheese
supper: 3 slices of combo pizza
snack: 10 grapes, 1 oz. cheese
I am down to 170, and that's encouraging. I had been toggling between 175-180. I am confident in my efforts and I realize that as I make simple changes I am creating new habits. It isn't my goal to lose the weight and then go back to eating the way I did before. It's going to take some time to really turn those habits around. I'm a little nervous about the family reunion next week. Not sure if I wanna just throw the whole day out and eat whatever I want, take my own food, eat allowable foods that are there, or eat things that I really like in moderation. I think the key is to decide before I go and stick with it. If I decide to jump off the wagon I'm sure I'll be so sick to my stomach that I won't ever want to do it again.
Today's menu:
Breakfast: 2 slices SWG bread, 2 eggs (made french toast), 1 slice turkey bacon, real maple syrup
Snack: hard-boiled egg, 1 slice bacon, 1 cup of carrots, 1 oz. of cheese
supper: 3 slices of combo pizza
snack: 10 grapes, 1 oz. cheese
I am down to 170, and that's encouraging. I had been toggling between 175-180. I am confident in my efforts and I realize that as I make simple changes I am creating new habits. It isn't my goal to lose the weight and then go back to eating the way I did before. It's going to take some time to really turn those habits around. I'm a little nervous about the family reunion next week. Not sure if I wanna just throw the whole day out and eat whatever I want, take my own food, eat allowable foods that are there, or eat things that I really like in moderation. I think the key is to decide before I go and stick with it. If I decide to jump off the wagon I'm sure I'll be so sick to my stomach that I won't ever want to do it again.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
July 17, 2010
Today I woke up not feeling hungry. I ate breakfast hoping that it would rev up my metabolism, but all day I didn't feel that gnawing hunger. around lunchtime I felt sleepy and so I had my lunch and then was fine. I have not had cravings either. I guess my body is getting everything it needs. It is such a wonderful feeling to not have cravings for foods that I shouldn't be eating and my energy level has gone up. I am so thankful for this new way of eating.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Where it all began:
My mom always praised us kids, not for cleaning our plates, but for stopping when we were full. I am thankful that she never said, "Clean your plate". Even though I didn't see it as a big deal she marvelled at my ability to turn down dessert. Sweets weren't my thing. In my teen years I thought I had my weight under control. I could easily cut back when I noticed my jeans were a little snug. I ran with the cross country team during highschool and it helped to burn off extra calories. During highschool I began working at a restaurant and received a $5 employee meal and had unlimited access to fountain drinks for every 4 hours I worked. After graduation I joined the Navy. I was 5'4'' and 120 lbs. During my time in the military I was able to maintain a healthy weight and continued running. After the birth of my first child at age 23 I didn't lose all my babyweight before I was expecting my second child. My second child was born the beginning of July and that November I was able to attend the Marine Corps ball with a size six formal dress (breastfeeding really helped with weightloss). I maintained a good weight and became pregnant with my third child about a year later. The weight did come off afterwards, but it was a little slower. I was going through a divorce and that also helped in my weight-loss efforts. I met my husband when My third was a year old and I was at a healthy weight. I was instructing water aerobics at a fitness center and continuing to run. Sometime between getting married, buying a house, and life I began gaining weight. It was the sneak up on you kind of gain. My jeans were too tight!
I struggled to keep the weight down, but it was getting harder. I became pregnant with baby #4 in the spring of '07 and didn't care if I gained weight. I ate whatever I wanted, I figured I'd lose it after I had the baby (like I did with the others). I really struggled to get my weight down and if my memory serves me right I think I managed to get down to 140 lbs. In the late summer of '09 I became pregnant with baby #5 and again capitalized on the big baggy clothes and a great excuse to have a big belly. Near the end of my pregnancy I was a few pounds shy of 200!!! I had her the day before Easter and did lose about 20 lbs. and not changing anything at all. At about 180 my weight hit a wall and I realized that I was going to have to actually work to get it off. It was time to pay the piper.
I struggled to keep the weight down, but it was getting harder. I became pregnant with baby #4 in the spring of '07 and didn't care if I gained weight. I ate whatever I wanted, I figured I'd lose it after I had the baby (like I did with the others). I really struggled to get my weight down and if my memory serves me right I think I managed to get down to 140 lbs. In the late summer of '09 I became pregnant with baby #5 and again capitalized on the big baggy clothes and a great excuse to have a big belly. Near the end of my pregnancy I was a few pounds shy of 200!!! I had her the day before Easter and did lose about 20 lbs. and not changing anything at all. At about 180 my weight hit a wall and I realized that I was going to have to actually work to get it off. It was time to pay the piper.
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